Toxic Relationships

Building positive relationships, no matter your age or background, is necessary an area to be accomplished by us all. What can be difficult for caregivers is the level of toxicity in many of the relationships that are engaged in daily. Burnout, codependency, lack or respect, and expectations are the culprits of toxicity for many of the relationships for caregivers. How do you remedy this?

Using my experiences as the basis of this topic, each of the culprits have invaded my space at one time or another. Burnout is what I felt as I found myself “caregiving” on the job, in the home, and as part of my relationship. I found that the shift for not wanting to be at work or feeling overly tired caring for my own child. The burnout happened over time nonetheless it happened. Codependency is something that I continue to struggle with BUT have also learned to recognize when I need to depend on me and put me first; that happens from time to time and it feels wonderful. Codependency is trying to make sure that I attend as many Chris Brown, Fantasia, and whomever else is on the “hot list” for my daughter to see. We all suffer from a lack of respect on some level. The work that a caregiver provides often goes unrecognized and it may be a result of the lack of boundaries that are set for self in addition to the boundaries that ignored for those we care for. That lack of respect goes both ways. Expectations becomes problematic when both you and others have expectations of you that they would not have on themselves. Expectations can be remedied when discussions are held with loved ones or those care is given.

Resolving toxic relationships takes just as much work as it takes for a relationship to become toxic. Addressing any relationship requires work but a toxic one requires focus on self-care, possible wellness counseling, and even a higher level of therapy.